Transitions

It is important to honestly and forthrightly face transitions in life. We find that we are in an important transition. We have lived a good life and have enjoyed much of it, but now, it seems, that we are moving in a different direction, perhaps on a different path, perhaps with a somewhat different goal. Much of this transition has to do with our being 70+ and 80+, or as I jokingly say, “Deb in her eighth decade and I am in my ninth decade.” Wow!! How did this happen so fast. I often wonder how years go by so much faster, perhaps because at 80 one year is one 80^th of my life, while when I was, say, six, one year was one sixth of my life.

Our transition is not so much being 70+ and 80+ as it is about what we will do in the rest of our lives. For several years we have found ourselves writing and publishing books in additions to these blogs and other occasional writings. We worked diligently on our most recent publication, Balls: Men finding courage with words, work, wine, and women, and I must say, it has been a chore. It’s been somewhat of a chore writing, a bigger chore in editing, and over the past six months a huge chore in marketing. However, as we look at our life together and our lives separately, we find that we are in this transition from what has been to what can be, might be, or what we might want it to be. We are a bit uncertain about the future.

We have truly enjoyed our work together and our work separately over our years together and our years before we were together. Interestingly, we have spent more than half of our lives together. The transition that we find ourselves in seems largely to be with our work, namely how we can continue to do meaningful and productive work and find joy in this work. We might write more…or perhaps less. We might see patients more…or less. We might take more time off to travel and explore. Much of this is uncertain.

The transitional period in our life together is not all about work although work has been the central feature of our life together. We find that we are transitioning in other ways as well including physically, relationally, intellectually, and spiritually. We see all these things as intrinsically related, perhaps starting with work but also blending into these other areas as well.

Let’s explore some of the transitions that people face in life:

• Professionally
• Intellectually
• Physicality
• Relationships
• Spiritually
• Playfully

Professionally

I use the term “professional” to relate to anything someone does. Ideally, a profession is one where an individual “professes” him/herself into the work. This could be the doctor or accountant, terms that seem to describe “professions” but I think anything can…and should…be a profession if I put my life into it. Being primarily a homemaker is certainly a profession. Likewise, being a carpenter, trash collector, researcher, or political leader can be professions.

Many people find the need to retire from a profession and spend their lives simply enjoying the fruits of their labor. This is good for many people, but not for all people. I just talked to someone who is approaching retirement and he is frightened that his life will be boring. I know of many people who continue to work, even in jobs or professions that they don’t like, because they don’t know what they would do if they would retire.

I think that work/job/profession can transition into something different, perhaps even greater if one can find a way to transition into different stage of life. This might mean becoming a teacher of sorts for younger people; maybe it could be becoming a consultant, maybe a volunteer. I think that if one takes a hearty look at oneself, the person will find a way to transition joyfully out of one’s profession or take a somewhat different approach to work and profession.

Intellectually

Sadly, some 50% of women over the age of 80 suffer from some kind of dementia, often Alzheimer’s disease. More interestingly, however, research finds that dementia can be prevented by having an active life, an intellectual life, an emotional life, and a physically healthy life. Read the study of the Mankato convent to see how these nuns staved off memory loss by a very active life.

Intellectual life can lead to reading more, engaging people more, or learning new ways of experiencing life. Consider what you might like to learn as you transition in life. I would like to play the flute. Deb would like to work in an archeological dig. Who knows what we might do to stay intellectually engaged.

Physically

You want to stave off dementia? Work out, run, walk, hike, and eat healthy. We have transitioned from a reasonably good diet to a much better diet. Deb walks almost every day and often hikes as well. I work out three times a week and play basketball three times a week.

I find it sad that so many people our ages or younger spend their days seeing doctors, changing medications, and doing various kinds of surgeries. This seems to be how they cope with the fact that they are older. It is a trap to focus on what is wrong physically, or might be wrong physically, with your body. The focus should be on what is right and how you can keep it right.

Relationships

Transitioning in relationships can be a glorious thing, but it is also a sad thing. Hence, our proposition that life…a good life…is both joyful and sad. We have had friends…good friends…in our past who are no longer friends. Some of them have moved away, some of them have died, and sadly, some of them have found ways apart from us. We look at these former relationships with nostalgia. Nostalgia is a combination of joy and sorrow. It is looking at the past joys of life and the past sorrows of life as essential.

These have been but brief introductions into transitions. More later on relational transitions, then spiritual and playful transitions.