Play is a central ingredient in life. Asian philosophers speak of play being one of the cardinal elements of life together with work, friendship, spirituality. If we consider this philosophy, we need to consider how we can integrate play into our lives along with these other elements. But what is “play” we might ask. Let’s look at what play is, what the ingredients of play are, how it is essential in life, how people engage in play, the dangers of a lack of play, and the dangers of too much play.

What is play?

Play is activity that involves some effort that takes us away from the responsibilities of life. Thus, play ideally helps us be responsible and engage life in a meaningful way. Play can involve ingredients that are physical, cognitive, emotional, productive, and relational.

Given that play is a way to get away from work and responsibility, ideal play involves more than one of these activities. When I play basketball, it is certainly physical because it requires a good deal of movement. But basketball is also cognitive because I need to think about how and when to move, pass, dribble, or shoot, and I need to be quite aware of my teammates and opponents. There is often an emotional element to play, namely the thrill of making a basket or winning, and the disappointment of missing a shot or losing a game. It is certainly relational, usually with friendly engagement, and depending on the crowd, it can lead to anger to some degree. A “friendly game is highly competitive and rarely angry, but this is a combination that is sometimes hard to find. Importantly, basketball isn’t productive, i.e. making something better although it might claim that it is good for my aging body to move on the court.

Consider what forms of play you do…or used to do. Consider which of the elements (physical, relational, etc.) might be a part of your chosen play.

What are the forms of play?

Physical: basketball for me, gardening for Deb, hiking for both of us.

Cognitive: table games (Chinese checkers when we’re at the cabin; Trionominoes when were home; Sudoku when we go to bed.

Relational and emotional: all the time

Productive: when we do a house project together

What are the values of play?

The values of play are in all four of the ingredients of physical, emotional, intellectual, relational and productive. In other words, play can potentially improve you in all these areas.

• I see competitors on the basketball court that are truly fine specimens of physical development
• I watch with interest chess grand masters who work so hard at their play/trade that they are exhausted cognitively after a match
• Children learning to cooperate with a team and collectively compete with another team build their character.
• Play helps people experience joy and sorrow that are implicit in any play experience. Learning to experience and accept these emotions is essential for personal growth and success in life.
• Play helps a person work harder, work more efficiently, and work faster if it is used as a temporary reprieve for work and other responsibilities.
• Play can actually be productive or restorative by nature, as when Deb and I do some yard or house project together. Tom Sawyer famously convinced his friend that painting a fence was play. His friends actually enjoyed the experience because of that perspective, just the way Deb and I sometimes go about some project. I have heard of the military looking for expert video game players who can utilize their skills with screen games to learn to direct drones, whether videos of the enemy or bombs.

The danger of too much play

Anything to undue excess, or what it said to be “to a fault” can be hurtful, harmful, or dangerous. Play to a fault can be alone or with people, but the result is the same: some damage. Damage might be to property, person, or relationship. Importantly, such damage is always unintended. Thomas Aquinas said that nothing is ever intended to harm or hurt, but rather things are done out of love in some way, however this love might be misplaced. You can think about this, but you might discover, perhaps personally, that you never really intend to damage anyone or anything except by accident or out of fear in some way.

People with whom we use the temperament term as “players” often play to a fault. Players are people who look primarily for experience in life. This experience can be physical, cognitive, emotional, or relational. They feel enlivened or excited with something new, often something unknown and adventurous. Nothing wrong with experience, excitement, and adventure, but if a player sees an opportunity for such things he or she might easily fall into the experience with a disregard for their own person, i.e. their own body, or a disregard for the danger of property or other people. You can read more about players in a previous blog. By the way, you will learn that there is danger implicit in the other three temperaments that we discuss: caretaker, lover, and analyst.

The dangers to one’s own body include things that might be potentially life-threatening, like rock climbing or skydiving, but more often the potential damage is much less. In fact, I could damage myself playing basketball, which has happened many times, and Deb could damage herself with gardening, like working her 70-year old arms to a fault.

The damage to property is obvious, namely using some property as a toy when it could be damaged if it is not used correctly. Our daughter, Krissie, broke her leg one time because she was simply hopping around our living room without regard for the table that was behind her. I remember a player friend of mine who was not fluent on ice skates, let alone hockey. Nevertheless, player that he was, he engaged in a friendly hockey game, and because he lacked the skill to skate and use the hockey stick properly, he began swinging it at his competitors, laughing while he was swinging. Laughable for him, dangerous for the other players. In this case, actually, this man was using his competitors as toys without much regard for the potential danger he could inflict on someone.

The larger danger of playing to a fault is the emotional damage and hence the relationship damage playing can have on another person. Such situations are often one individual engaging in some kind of play that unintentionally offends the other person. A former good friend of mine used to pinch me from time to time, something that was not only painful physically but painful emotionally as I found myself needing to defend myself, not always kindly. You might know a friend or a relative who really likes some kind of play that you don’t like and he/she can’t seem to understand why you don’t like the same thing.

There is an unfortunate result of playing to a fault that can be bad for body, soul, and relationships to say nothing of finances. People truly addicted to video games, gambling, or for that matter any kind of play, even playing poker or basketball. An addiction is an activity that has encroached on the rest of your life and has actually become less enjoyable requiring you to do more of it to churn up the pleasure endorphins.

Consider play that you might do to a fault. This suggestion is not to inhibit your play or denigrate your love for a certain kind of play but rather to add a measure of concern about how this playful activity might be deleterious to you, to property, or to other people.

The danger of not enough play

I began this blog stating that there is an Asian understanding of the balance of life that includes work, play, friendship, and spirituality. You might consider that these elements overlap to some degree and often come together in some way, which they can also operate alone with value.

When I ask people, often in an Intake Evaluation, what they value or what they do in a day’s time or a year’s time, play is rarely a part of it, with the exception of persons with a player temperament. This seems to be especially true in America, possibly because of the frontier mentality that originated in the U.S. and was truly prevalent in the “go west young man”, whether “west” to Kentucky in the early 1800’s to California in the later 1800’s. Much of this “going west” together with the frontier mentality has remained in America and become the fabric of our society. When asked what I “do”, the question is singularly about what I do for work, not my friendships, my family, or my play activities.

Consider whether you give enough room to play or perhaps that you give too much room for it. You might discover that you work hard and rest hard but rarely play hard, whether that play is physical, cognitive, emotional, or relational. No one can tell you what you might do for play, but if you inspect your inner self and your dreams, you just might discover that you really want to play chess again.