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Transitions It is important to honestly and forthrightly face transitions in life. We find that we are in an important transition. We have lived a good life and have enjoyed much of it, but now, it seems, that we are moving in a different direction, perhaps on a different path,…
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Good and Bad Narcissism
Narcissism. We’ve heard a lot about this term recently. It has become a favorite diagnostic term that people have used when they talk about some of their family members. Thus, it belongs in the commonly used terms as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and autism. We believe that these terms…
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Love the Way You Love
Love the Way You Love On my way to work yesterday I found myself singing, “If you can’t be with the on you love, love the one you’re with.” I remember this from the 60’s with the free love theme that was part of that era. While there are so…
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Find it, Face it, Feel it, Finish it.
“Find it. Face it. Feel it. Finish it.” We say this phrase to clients frequently. We are talking about old sads. Old sads that haven’t been finished have a way of lurking around causing all kinds of difficulties in life. One of the worst things old unfinished sads do is…
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Finishing Past Losses
The bulk of the work we do with people is to help them recover from the losses that they have suffered in life. With very few exceptions, the only meaningful diagnosis we ever give anyone is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) because all mental health disturbances, relationship disturbances, and other…
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Grief and Relief
I just met with a man who recently lost his wife. They had a long, successful, and enduring marriage but she contracted a debilitating disease that dominated their lives for nearly a decade as she deteriorated in physical condition. This meant that the man felt compelled, both by love and…
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You Don’t Want to Do It
How often do you feel compelled to do what you don’t want to do? If you’re like me, you often avoid these things, and then unfortunately, you feel burdened by thinking about what you should do quite a bit. In fact, you end up thinking about what you should do…
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Growing up or Growing Down
I have had the privilege recently of seeing a number of “senior” people. Specifically, these folks are all above 70 and the oldest one is 86. All of them have come to me for help with their relationships. Most of these couples have been married for decades and most of…
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I Need to Feel Shame
Many people seem to need to feel shame, however crazy that sounds. Allow me to make sense of this seemingly nonsensical statement. Common sense seems to suggest that shame is a terrible feeling to have and most people avoid it like the plague. But sometimes the feeling of shame is…
