Midlands Psychological Associates

  • We have too much mothering in this country. Mothering of all kinds including biological mothers, fathers and others who for one necessary reason or another act as “mothers” to their children, government providing a kind of mothering too people who act like children, single mothers who have no choice but to…

  • “I don’t have any friends,” he said. Jack went on: “I don’t know what to do about this. How do you go about finding friends when you’re 50? I had a lot of friends when I was a kid; I had a few friends in high school; I met one…

  • I have been musing about the business of loving and liking. More accurately, I have been thinking about such matters for many years, certainly as most people have thought about these important elements of life. Deb and I have dealt with so many couples over so many years that it…

  • The business of psychotherapy is largely about feelings. We tell our patients what most therapists tell patients: you have to express your feelings. Certainly, this is true: in order to be satisfied, happy, and productive in life you need to express your feelings. But the story is much broader than…

  • “I will not let you die”.  This is what my inner voice said to me this morning, sweating like an ox in hot yoga.  I was holding the tree pose facing the mirrored wall noticing how curly my hair was in full body sweat when I heard the words.  It…

  • Veteran’s Day a long time ago. It was scary. We were home from school because, back then, the honored were honored with a real holiday. It is funny, in a weird way, how the brain registers such major passage events. I haven’t thought of my mother’s first brain hemorrhage in…

  • The most important word learned by most people when they are toddlers is “no.” The word no is more important than Daddy or Mommy. It is more important than love, joy, sadness, excitement, or disappointment. The word no is perhaps the first definitive statement of “self.” No defines me, or…

  • Everybody seems to have some kind of addiction.  Mine is basketball.  Despite my aging body, I can’t seem to get away from playing the game.  This means (believe it or not) that I not only get up at 5 AM twice a week to play basketball, but give up my…

  • The contemporary Russian author and former dissident, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, wrote a book entitled, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch some years ago. The book was made into a movie of the same name. “One Day,” as it was called was a story of one day in the life…

  • I have a colleague who really does real magic in his work. The work where he does his magic, however, is not in the counseling office. Dan is not only a psychotherapist, he is also a professional magician. He has performed his magic in various venues, and sometimes uses his…