addictions
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Parapraxis
Most of what Freud said was wrong, but then, he was the first significant modern thinker to discuss genuine psychology, so we have to give major credit to this brilliant person who worked almost entirely alone to understand the human psyche. I say that he was “wrong” with most of what he said, but that…
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Play
Play is a central ingredient in life. Asian philosophers speak of play being one of the cardinal elements of life together with work, friendship, spirituality. If we consider this philosophy, we need to consider how we can integrate play into our lives along with these other elements. But what is “play” we might ask. Let’s…
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You Don’t Want to Do It
How often do you feel compelled to do what you don’t want to do? If you’re like me, you often avoid these things, and then unfortunately, you feel burdened by thinking about what you should do quite a bit. In fact, you end up thinking about what you should do frequently, but interestingly, you don’t…
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Growing up or Growing Down
I have had the privilege recently of seeing a number of “senior” people. Specifically, these folks are all above 70 and the oldest one is 86. All of them have come to me for help with their relationships. Most of these couples have been married for decades and most of them married only once. Why,…
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Men and Responsibility
“It is the best of times. It is the worst of times,” to quote Charles Dickens as he penned the beginning of A Tale of Two Cities. The best and worst times for men have to do with responsibility, or we might say “their responsibilities,” namely how they face responsibility (or responsibilities), understand responsibility, and…
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Thriving and Surviving
Some years ago I asked to talk to an African American man who had written a number of pieces in the local paper. In my email I said that although I had two Black sons in law and had Black men occasionally come to my office, I often felt that I was missing something important…
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The Basic Anxiety in All Men
Since my practice is composed of entirely men, I frequently hear similar things from these men, and surprisingly from men of very different ages. I have come to believe that the central ingredient that men where when they get distress in some way is some form of anxiety. I will discuss the various faces of…
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I’d Rather Die
You’ve heard people say something like, “I’d rather die than…” followed by something that they abhorred. Maybe, they hate tomatoes and would “rather die” than eat them, which would be true of my grandson. Or maybe, the person would find it abhorrent to own a green car or watch a football game on TV. We…