feelings
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Happiness II: Pleasure and Joy
This is the second of two blogs on happiness, the first being on “Wanting and Liking.” Here I want to discuss the experiences of pleasure and joy. Know, however, that all four of these words (wanting, liking, pleasure, joy), and probably many more, are approximate ways of understanding this feeling of happiness. We know a…
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Happiness I: Wanting and Liking
This is the first of two articles on “happiness”. The second one will be on “joy and pleasure.” Wanting, liking, joy, and pleasure all can lead to happiness, the seeking of happiness, and the finding of happiness. This article is on the difference between wanting and liking, which are both related to finding happiness in…
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The Other S Word
You already know the bad “S” word. But there is a much worse “S” word: stupid. When this really bad “S” word gets into people’s vocabulary, they are in real trouble. This really bad “S” word begins to dominate how people think of the world…and themselves. I do my best to rid my patients of…
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Love Is Not Enough
What an odd title: love is not enough. Is that true? How could that possibly be true? Isn’t love always good? If I love someone, isn’t that good in itself? Isn’t love always good? These are the questions I want to address in this blog. I actually borrowed this title from a movie and a…
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Why Good Men Lie
Jack is 55. He is an established and experienced tradesman who prides himself on his work. Work is clearly the best thing in his life and he thrives in it. He refers to going to work as “putting on my (tradesman) belt,” and looks forward to going to work, often getting up at 3 AM…
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I Don’t Want To Grow Up
I found myself saying something to a patient the other day that was one of those “My mouth said that” statements (note a previous blogs on this phenomenon). In other words, I didn’t know it until I said it. The statement was this: “You want to be grown up. You don’t want to grow up.”…
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America Depressed and Distressed
It is remarkable that the popular media has properly identified President Trump as a person with a narcissistic personality disorder. Sadly, this is certainly an accurate diagnosis for Mr. Trump although I prefer avoiding all such diagnoses because they just look at what is “wrong” with someone, which is never helpful. Instead of identifying someone…
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The Other F word
Family. That is the other F word. And it can be much worse than the curse word. We can dismiss the curse word when we hear it. We can use the curse word with impunity as many people do. It’s just a word. But we can’t do the same with the other F word: family.…
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I Don’t Want to Live
I have the opportunity of hearing things from people that they have never told anyone else. This is a tremendous privilege that we therapists have. Close family members, good friends, pastors, doctors, and bartenders often hear private things from people, but there is something almost sacred about the therapy office, especially after trust is established…