mindfulness
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Early Life Decisions
Look at what you tend to do over and over again. These would be things that you tend to be good at. This would cover a whole range of things like, Note which of these things tends to be how you act. Now consider which of these things you were taught in your family and…
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Intention
Intention is one of the most important features of life, both individual life and social life. Consider what you intend to do or say, perhaps in comparison to what you actually do or say. You will often find a difference. Consider also how you have had some challenges with other people who didn’t understand your…
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Parapraxis
Most of what Freud said was wrong, but then, he was the first significant modern thinker to discuss genuine psychology, so we have to give major credit to this brilliant person who worked almost entirely alone to understand the human psyche. I say that he was “wrong” with most of what he said, but that…
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Play
Play is a central ingredient in life. Asian philosophers speak of play being one of the cardinal elements of life together with work, friendship, spirituality. If we consider this philosophy, we need to consider how we can integrate play into our lives along with these other elements. But what is “play” we might ask. Let’s…
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Transitions
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by
It is important to honestly and forthrightly face transitions in life. We find that we are in an important transition. We have lived a good life and have enjoyed much of it, but now, it seems, that we are moving in a different direction, perhaps on a different path, perhaps with a somewhat different goal.…
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Love the Way You Love
Love the Way You Love On my way to work yesterday I found myself singing, “If you can’t be with the on you love, love the one you’re with.” I remember this from the 60’s with the free love theme that was part of that era. While there are so many dangers with such a…
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Growing up or Growing Down
I have had the privilege recently of seeing a number of “senior” people. Specifically, these folks are all above 70 and the oldest one is 86. All of them have come to me for help with their relationships. Most of these couples have been married for decades and most of them married only once. Why,…
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Men and Responsibility
“It is the best of times. It is the worst of times,” to quote Charles Dickens as he penned the beginning of A Tale of Two Cities. The best and worst times for men have to do with responsibility, or we might say “their responsibilities,” namely how they face responsibility (or responsibilities), understand responsibility, and…
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The Centrality of Safety
The more I do this work of psychotherapy, augmented by daily life experience, I see that safety is central to life, and any abridgement of safety causes alarm in a person’s psychological state, which then causes alarm in one physical state and one social system. In other words, I need to be safe first and…