mindfulness
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I’d Rather Die
You’ve heard people say something like, “I’d rather die than…” followed by something that they abhorred. Maybe, they hate tomatoes and would “rather die” than eat them, which would be true of my grandson. Or maybe, the person would find it abhorrent to own a green car or watch a football game on TV. We…
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The Centrality of Disappointment
One of the most important terms to use daily is “disappointment.” Think about it: how many times during a single day are you actually disappointed. If you’re careful to note your feelings and thoughts, you will notice that disappointment is an experience that occurs several times a day. I want to discuss what disappointment is,…
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Looking for Magic
Everybody loves magic. I always admire someone who is skilled at doing magic, whether someone who is professional on a stage like a colleague of mine (Dr. Dan Feaster), or someone who is just good at some card trick. I always enjoy doing some kind of simple magic with young kids where I make a…
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The Things That We Love
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We all love different things. Our most recent book, What’s Your Temperament, discusses how our temperaments determine what we like, and more importantly, what we love. We made a distinct point that one of the defining characteristics that we have is our temperament, and implicit in each temperament is a distinct tendency to love something.…
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Overcoming Shame
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Almost everyone I see in my office suffers from shame. I wrote a blog a few years back differentiating shame and guilt, which remains an important element in understanding and conquering the phenomenon of shame in one’s life. In this blog, I will give some examples of shame that people feel in their lives, then…
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Feeling Safe in the World
The world has seemed a whole lot less safe recently. This increased amount of fear has led to a good deal of anxiety. Lack of safety has at least been caused by the Covid pandemic for more than two years but also by the cultural challenges that the Black Lives Matter movement have brought to…
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The Value of a Heart Attack
I had a heart attack a couple of months ago, and it has been a very good thing for me. Let me explain. I’m not saying that I’m “glad” that I had a heart attack, and of course I wish I hadn’t had this event, but as I look at the larger picture, I see…
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Wanting it Both Ways
I have often “wanted it both ways” in many of life’s circumstances: I want to eat as much sugar as I want. I also want to have low glucose in my blood I want to lose weight. I also want to eat too much food at night I want to slim down my belly. I…
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Love V: Love Problems
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This is (probably) the last of the blogs on love. Previously, we looked at a bit of theory of love, “not being love right”, temperament-based love, and being “seen” so you could be loved. This blog will be devoted to a very basic concept that we have developed about feelings, emotions, and love. If you…