mindfulness
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Helpless
Helpless is a feeling. That having been said, it is a subset of “feelings” that I have written about (and that Deb and I have written a book about incorporating all of my feeling blogs). Describing helpless as a feeling is the best way I can define helpless, just as all words representing deep feelings…
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Passion, Purpose, and Product
A good life is a life that produces something. I have to very careful here because “producing” doesn’t necessarily mean some kind of physical product, like the infamous “widget.” A product may be an idea, perhaps an idea that changes the world, or at least part of the world, for good. The product might be…
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The Centrality of Fear
Fear is the most important emotion that exists in the human psyche. Furthermore, fear is the most important emotion that exists in all animals. If it were not for fear, nothing would survive. Animals would not survive and humans would not survive. Fear has to be seen as “the most important” of the four basic…
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Wanting It Both Ways
I recently had a therapeutic hour with a patient who “wants to have it both ways.” I know exactly how he feels because I have had the same desires, as have many people who privilege me by coming to my office for my presence and counsel. Let me explain what “wanting it both ways” means.…
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Daily Disappointments
S**t happens, right? Indeed it does. No way around it. Things happen that are unexpected…and ultimately disappointing. If that were the end of it, I wouldn’t be writing this blog because if people actually understood that s**t happens, they would be able to handle it, process it, remember it, and prevent the almost universal reaction…
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The Narcissism of our Times
Deb and I have a general distaste for pathology-based diagnoses, like narcissism, as well as almost all the other diagnoses that are so popular these days. We have watched as society has come to frequently identify with ADHD, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, learning disabilities, and various personality disorders. I hesitate to write this blog using…
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Sharing Grief
You might know that my daughter, Krissie, died just a few weeks ago. Understandably, this event has had a rather profound effect on me, as well as others who knew Krissie, both family and friends. The effect on me, and of course on others, has been one of grief. These past six weeks has been…
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The I-You-We Approach to Relatiionships
The I-You-We Approach to Relationships There are three main ingredients in any relationship, namely “I” (myself), “You” (the other person), and “We” (the combination of “I” and “You”). People tend to focus on one of these three elements, somewhat on a second item, and much less on the third item. This discussion is intended to…
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Feelings XI: Paradoxical Feelings
We have been studying “feelings” for some time now, and this is our latest edition. Readers may peruse the previous 10 contributions to the topic. Deb and I are furiously working on a book incorporating all what we have written about and more, but the publication of that work will be sometimes in the future,…