Everybody seems to have some kind of addiction.  Mine is basketball.  Despite my aging body, I can’t seem to get away from playing the game.  This means (believe it or not) that I not only get up at 5 AM twice a week to play basketball, but give up my Sunday nights to the game as well. Worse yet, despite my limited ability, I still find myself playing with guys 30 years younger, and certainly more skilled than I am Pick-up basketball, as it is called, has a number of rules, not all of which are properly codified. Not the rules like putting the ball in the basket and staying within the boundaries, but more informal rules, like those that everyone knows and obeys, but no one actually says. It is these rules that make pick-up basketball a subculture to itself. And woe to the fella (or gal) who shows up not knowing these rules. I have slowly acquired a lexicon of statements, actions, and hints that accompany this much orchestrated game of adult basketball. 

A number of statements are important to have in one’s vocabulary for use at appropriate times. Particularly significant is the expression, “my bad.” “My bad” is said by a player when he (or occasionally she) makes a bad play. “My bad” doesn’t really convey that the speaking player is bad, like a bad player or a bad person. Rather, the expression is meant to acknowledge that the player is disappointed in his performance and wishes to acknowledge his error. “My bad” works well on the court for many reasons. First of all, it is a sign that the player has recognized his error, as we all should do in life at large. Secondly, it is a way of preventing any kind of criticism from his teammates for his mistaken play. Never, is it permitted to say to the player who has uttered “my bad” any kind of challenge to his play because the sacred phrase has been uttered, and it is not to be challenged. Once, I used this self-defaming statement (as I am often required to do because of my limited skills), and a young uninitiated player said something like, “Well, it is not your good.” The rest of the players on the court looked at Jim in complete disbelief at this young man’s inappropriate challenge to my self flagellation. “My bad” stands on its own merit and must never be challenged.

There are other rules, all informal and unspoken, but revered, in this odd sport for guys who have passed their athletic prime. An important rule exists when someone is hurt on the court, which is a rather common phenomenon when old guys like me are playing the game. When someone is hurt, he is usually lying on the floor, having stumbled on his own feet (that would be me), or taken an elbow in the mouth causing the need for stitches (that would also be me). The procedure is quite understood by all who play this sacred game: (1) one (possibly two) teammates gather around the injured person and look at him; (2) nothing is said; looking is enough; it would be highly invasive to ask the person if he is alright. He is a man; he will be alright. He just needs some time to be assured that all his bones are still connected (they usually are). In the mean time (3) the rest of the players on the court mill around in different corners of the gym. Some of them will shoot a few baskets, while others will go for a towel to dry off the sweat. A few daring ones will watch from a safe distance of about 20 feet. (4) Occasionally, someone will find a used band-aid to help the player if he has some sort of cut. More often, (5) the player will get back up on his feet and declare that he is fine. And rarely, (6) he will just go off and sit on the bench for a minute. Without further adieu (7) the rest of the players will resume play without any further comment. Or, if the injured player takes himself out of play, and his departure limit’s the available players on the court to an unacceptable number, (8) these same players will cajole him into playing despite his injury. This whole procedure of dealing with court injuries, please keep in mind, is all entirely without words.

There are a number of other unspoken rules of pick-up basketball, as well as variations according to the specific Court. Teasing and razzing. This is a very important aspect, and falls in line with a kind of reverse psychology.  Being the senior member of the several Courts I play on, I am often the object of allegations of being old. Some of the more memorable comments have included, “Was the basketball square when you started to play, Ron?,” “We better start playing. Ron is getting older by the minute,” and, “What was it really like before we had cars?” This kind of razzing is important to continue esprit d’corps, and has very specific limitations. There is no shaming in such razzing. There are generally some additional comments made that are equally self-deprecating. Players are teased about their age, like me, by also about their hair length or absence of hair, color of their clothes, odor of their clothes, and of course, lack of skill. People who take offense to such razzing simply don’t get that it is important to tease.

There are some differences in regards to some rules. For instance, there is no uniform rule about calling fouls. In a refereed game, of course, the ref makes the calls. And there, it is acceptable to challenge the ref, stare him down, or raise one’s hands in disbelief. But without an official regulating the play of the game, it is up to the players themselves to call fouls. Here is where there is some disparity: some guys call fouls all the time. Some of these guys call fouls on someone else. A few guys call fouls on themselves. And depending on the Court, there are different rules as to how foul-calling may be disputed. When I play in Newfoundland (Canada), fouls are only called by the defensive player who has fouled his opponent. More often in the States, the offensive player calls fouls that have been perpetrated upon him. And there is disparity on how much a person may complain about fouling. Some players take more liberty at complaining about being fouled, while others take fouling in stride, and still others do some kind of grimace. So to the individual who is uninitiated into a specific Court, he needs to be attuned to the Order of the Court Regarding Foul-Calling.

There are other less universal rules of various basketball Courts. My 5 AM play occurs in a church, where we always begin with a prayer. In Newfoundland, we always play full-court, even if there are only four players. In Lodi, where I (try to) organize Sunday night basketball, a certain intensity is required by all who choose to play. When I played with a largely African-American group, a certain vocabulary of hyphenated words was necessary to adequately communicate.

Like all genres of life, one needs to know the rules of the game. Spectators of Lodi’s annual Alumni Basketball Tournament might note the rules of the game, and be able to distinguish those who abide by them and those who don’t. More importantly, however, there is value in appropriating some of these important rules into daily life. My wife, for instance, has adopted the “my bad” into her regular vocabulary, this despite the fact that some listeners of this expression are somewhat nonplussed by the words. Nevertheless, “my bad” communicates everything a person wants to after some error: (1) I admit to it; (2) Don’t criticize me, and (3) I’ll take care of it myself. Life is a bit easier with “my bad” than “you’re bad.”