August 12, 2013 – Regret: Wasted Energy

She asked me “why do I not move forward?”  She was dealing with her efforts to recreate her profession and had just noted that when she thinks of opportunity missed she feels a pang of panic.  So much energy is wasted on those darn “what if’s and if only’s”, I said.  She rolled her eyes knowing where I was heading her.

Often when we find ourselves stuck, unable to move forward, it is because our energy is being sucked up by regrets.   Regret is a poison in the guise of a nagging panic couched in judgments that echo “if only I had…” Regret, of course, can be only about the past.  We can’t regret what might come our way.  We can only regret what has passed (that we lost).  There is nothing that sucks up our energy like regret. Dwelling on “what if” and “if only” keeps us in the past.  Energy that loops on the past is energy wasted because it is incapable of moving us forward.

The only cure for regret is grief, be it large or small.  Grief that says “I am sorry”, in recognition of lost opportunity or action, will unbind us from the past and invite us to breathe “this is what I can do now”.   Nice!

~ DocBrock